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Make a connection to fostering
Published: 04/06/2015
Have you got the skills needed to make a positive change to the lives of
children and young people in 天涯社区?
With record numbers of children coming into care across the UK, and the need to
recruit more foster carers in 天涯社区, 天涯社区鈥檚 fostering
service is asking local residents to make a connection with fostering, as part
of Foster Care Fortnight (1 鈥� 14 June).
Jill Jones from the Council鈥檚 Fostering Service, said:
鈥淭his year鈥檚 Foster Care Fortnight has a theme of 鈥榤ake a connection鈥�, and
asks people to talk about what fostering means to them, their family, and their
friends. It is also about busting myths about fostering and focusing on the
skills and experience needed to become a foster carer and to provide a loving
home for vulnerable children.鈥�
Helen from Mold has been a foster carer for the last seven years, looking after
children from the age of six weeks to 16 years old. She has cared for 27
children.
鈥淓ach child is an individual; they come from different homes, experiences and
have their own set of problems. Many of the children I鈥檝e cared for have issues
with food because it gives them comfort and they鈥檝e come from a home where
there wasn鈥檛 regular meal times and food wasn鈥檛 always available.
鈥淵ou need commitment to the child and commitment to attend training, especially
in your first year of fostering. Training helps you to understand the
children鈥檚 behaviours, the different traumas that these children have faced and
how to deal with that. It gives you new ideas and strategies.鈥�
Helen says that it鈥檚 important to prepare yourself beforehand, to be realistic,
and to consider the needs of your own family before you commit:
鈥淚f you are thinking about fostering you need to consider if you can give the
commitment and the time that鈥檚 needed. You need to discuss long and hard as a
family and decide if this is the right time. I wouldn鈥檛 start fostering near
exam time, it would be better to wait and not have that disruption for your own
children.
鈥淥ne myth about fostering is the view that bringing a child into a loving home
is going to make everything better. It鈥檚 not the same as parenting your own
children, because your children have never been through that trauma. Because
you鈥檝e parented your children well in one way, that doesn鈥檛 mean it will work
in fostering.
鈥淎s a foster carer you need structure and boundaries. We tell the children that
there are rules in our house from day one. I never say 鈥業 know how you feel鈥�
because I don鈥檛. I can鈥檛 begin to imagine how they must feel. 鈥�
Even after caring for 27 children, Helen says it鈥檚 important to know when to
ask for help:
鈥淒on鈥檛 be afraid to pick up to phone to the fostering team or other foster
carers. It鈥檚 not a sign of failure. It鈥檚 better to ask for help before it
becomes a crisis. There is always someone at the end of the phone. You need to
be able to work with other people and to talk about things. I鈥檝e always had
good support from 天涯社区 Fostering Service whenever I needed it, and that鈥檚
why I鈥檓 still fostering after seven years.鈥�
Councillor Christine Jones, Cabinet Member for Social Services, said
鈥淭here are local children who need our help. There are many myths about who can
become a foster carer, but what really matters is that someone has the
commitment, skills and ability to look after children separated from their own
families, and to offer them a stable and secure home. It鈥檚 not easy, but it is
very rewarding to be a foster carer.
鈥淭here is a particular need for foster carers to look after children over 15
and the under 4鈥檚. Young people over 15 have often lived with a number of
foster carers, and they need help to catch up with their peers and prepare them
for living on their own.
Jill Jones, from the Council鈥檚 Fostering Service, added:
鈥淔ostering is open to people who are single, married, living together, working,
retired, unemployed, gay, straight, old and young, with or without
children鈥�.but it鈥檚 not easy and we are looking for people with bucket-loads of
determination, energy, time and availability. Particularly if your own children
have now grown up and you have all of that experience to share with another
child who has missed out on the childhood they deserve.鈥�
Seven years, and 27 children later, Helen loves the rewards that fostering
brings. Helen鈥檚 own daughter is now away at university and enjoys visiting and
seeing the foster children when she comes home:
鈥淪he likes hearing about the funny things that the children do and say, and
there are so many 鈥榖est moments鈥�. From the children who tell you they love you,
to the 16 year old lad telling us we were cool! A little girl鈥檚 face, every
morning when I went to pick her up from her cot 鈥� her smile would set me up for
the day. The child who followed my husband around, rubbing his hands together,
saying 鈥楢 job well done鈥� - I could go on forever.鈥�
Jackie Sanders, Director at The Fostering Network, added:
鈥淎s each year passes, we see more and more children coming into care. We need
people who can open their heart, and their homes, to vulnerable children and
young people who need support at a critical point in their young lives.
鈥淎 good foster carer will believe in the ambition of the children in their care
in the same way they鈥檇 believe in the ambition of their own family members. A
childhood is too short to waste, and foster carers can help those who haven鈥檛
had the best start begin to enjoy their life and grow into the adults that they
want to be.鈥�
To find out more about fostering for 天涯社区, contact
fostering@flintshire.gov.uk, visit www.flintshirefostering.org.uk or call 01352
702190
Caption:
Foster Carer Helen, from Mold: